Bill Fountain Posted November 21, 2020, 2:35 am

Suppose all of our beliefs are correct

There’s a lot of different theories buzzing around about what exactly is going on in the world right now. I smoked some Alaskan Thunderfuck and I think I’ve got an idea. I’m going to present the following with absolute certainty as if it’s undoubtedly true because that is the most effective and entertaining way to present any theory.

There’s an infinite number of timelines where everything anyone can possibly imagine is real. We can travel to any one of these timelines and we do so often without knowing. Every morning we wake up in a slightly different timeline than the one we fell asleep in. Everything looks the same, but it’s just a little different. Whatever way we see the world, and the way we think it is run behind the scenes, ultimately comes into fruition from our perspective, but we’ve really just shifted timelines.

Where we begin our journey depends on our parent's beliefs and how they think the world is, and where we go depends on how we think it is. We exist in all timelines, living out our lives but there is no one home actually experiencing it unless we travel to that timeline and take on that observer's perspective.

I can’t wait until I can tell my roommate “see I told you Trump would be back” and she can’t wait until she can tell me "see I told you outsourcing macrame is a scalable business idea."

But we’re actually just slowly traveling to the timeline in which both of us are correct.

Anyway, I definitely recommend Alaskan Thunderfuck.

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